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The important thing you need to focus on at this phase of your life is genuine social interaction and having real experiences, not some foolish obsession with one supposed dream girl.

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***QUESTION***

Hello Mr. D.

I have titled this email question/success, because with all the success that I have had, I had a question. First the success story. I have recently met a few 8.5-9.5's and have had so much luck with getting #'s and dates with the cocky funny routine. In fact, my buddy(who is a model) came up for the weekend and he commented on how well I have come into my own and how I remind him of ... him. He was usually the master of our 'click' to get the girls... he just had a way with it, but I noticed with him is that he'd find a girl he'd like and get all wuss-like. I tried to learn from him about the initial attraction, but could never really apply it. Then I got your book and applied that and not only was I impressed with myself, but he was impressed with the way I've changed(used to be a big shy wuss). I have learned that you dont have to be the best looking guy in the world to attract the women you want. Its all in the way you talk(slowly, and confidently), the way you compose yourself and walk.

My question is: I met this girl who is a good 9-9.5. I was almost intimidated the first time we met, but I stuck to my guns and remembered your teachings. I was cocky, and funny. I bust on her all the time, yet she seems a little stand-offish. Although when I talk to and go out with other girls, she immediately wants to go out (hang out, whatever). She'll comment on "I love how you joke with me" and when i tell her things like..."Well thanks for flaking out on me the other night, you owe me anyway." She always say... " I owe you!, I know". Then I always joke with her about being a flake and that she must be a blond and shes fooling everyone (shes half black/half white with charcoal hair). Ok, well to the question: What is this girls deal? I see her maybe 2-3 times every 2 weeks or so, and we usually hang out until wee hours into the morning, and we always have fun. It seems like I see her more when I turn up 2 factors: The "Busting on her(cocky)" factor, and the "Not caring what your doing right now..im out with this other girl" factor. In my experience a girl is either into me, or shes not... point blank. This girl is more flaky, and ON and OFF than anyone I've ever know. Well all of that aside, you have turned my world around in the aspect of dating, and I thank you for it. Have a good one.

ken oh


» MY COMMENTS:

Well congratulations. I know EXACTLY how you feel... I love it that I can hang out with my guy friends who are "naturals" at meeting women and hold my own.

I'm about to push the boundaries of my normally rather politically correct way of talking about women by venturing a guess...

I'll bet you a hundred bucks that this girl is or has been either...

1) An exotic dancer

2) An escort of some kind

3) A model or actress

I know, I know... attractive women often are.

But there's something about these "careers" that, in my personal experience, seems to lead to the exact kinds of flaky, wishy-washy, inconsistent behavior you're talking about.

I mean, she could also just be a dingbat. Let's not rule that out.

The reason you probably like this girl so much is BECAUSE she isn't predictable.

I mean, you could have asked me anything here, and you chose to ask me about one particular situation with one particular girl.

That tells me that whatever she's doing is WORKING, and it's probably WORKED all her life.

You feel me?

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