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Until you do this sort of homework you will never see any real change in yourself -- even if you find a way to force change, you will always find yourself slipping back into old habits and patterns. That's because the unconscious will gradually guide you back towards the reality that it is comfortable with.

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***QUESTION***

Dave the Expert, i never in a million years thought a book like yours would ever come out and help millions of guys out here that constantly struggle to find the exact way to attract a woman! And your book is IT...no questions asked!! i have had a lot of success these past eight months ever since i bought your book and from reading your newsletters. i've never dated so many women, it's grrrrrreat! but the time has come for me to ask you a question that i am practically begging you to respond to. i finally met this terrific girl who i think is the "one" 4 months ago and we've been dating since but we just recently broke up because she moved to college about 4 hours away from me. it hurt me so bad. i used the cocky/funny approach to reel her in at the beginning and kept up the cocky/funny attitude the whole way through until...the break up. ouch! you see, we are both dancers and we both dance in the same dance studio but she only comes down from college to practice maybe once every couple of weeks because her and i are in a duet together. we have a competition in about a month so i couldn't just back out of it but it is really awkward having to dance with her because i still have feelings for her and our duet is a very emotional dance w/ a lot of feeling involved. we broke up because she said that college was stressing her out so much and she felt that our relationship wouldn't work because long distance relationships are hard and we couldn't see each other as much as we wanted to. plus, she is on scholarship and she can't let herself make bad grades or else she can't maintain her scholarship. she didn't mean this in a bad way but told me that i was a little cause of her stress because we would talk on the phone when she was supposed to be doing homework. w/ all the homework and the dance team practices up there she stays busy and rarely ever gets to come down except to practice our duet. we've agreed to just be friends but dave, it just doesn't feel right. i want to be more than friends but i just don't see a way for this relationship to work out and have it be the way it was when we first started dating! i miss her so much and would do anything to get her back and i think i screwed up by telling her that! i told her that i would make time for her and that i never felt this way about a girl before, which is true. god, i know i was a complete wussy after we broke up but i felt that it was the right thing to do because after 4 months it didn't seem to matter if i spilled my feelings to her, right? dave, i need to know what to do to get her back because i still have to dance w/ her and i don't want to feel uncomfortable and insecure when i'm around her. any advice would greatly be appreciated!

-R.

» MY COMMENTS:

I'm glad you've had so much success with the materials, and I appreciate the feedback.

I don't usually respond to "relationship" questions... but I just can't help this one.

You've switched into WUSS BOY mode, and you're only shooting yourself in the foot, man.

Get on with your life, stop acting like a wussy, and quit telling her that you'd "do anything to get her back".

I know it's what you FEEL like saying, but it will only make you look weaker and weaker if you keep it up and don't just put it behind you and move on.

If you want to have any chance at all of this relationship working out, you're going to have to quit acting whipped and needy.

Now use what you've learned to go meet some new women and stop acting like a Wuss.

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